Alone
by NetKat
Summary: Sarah deals with being alone, with a little help from a friend. (3rd of 5 stories: Love, Sarah, Alone, Together, Asgard)
1. Chapter 1

***working on rewriting this, so it's probably going to change a little***

Sarah sat, alone, in her kitchen, eating her take-out and waiting for the music to work its magic. She sat through both discs of The Fragile, getting up for of a glass of water once early, then getting up to pee about halfway through. Still, she felt nothing. She sat through her copy of Mozart's Requiem. Nothing. She moved to her living room and turned on her TV. It was annoying her, so she turned it off, not sure if she had watched anything or not. She went back into the kitchen. She put on Nirvana: Unplugged. She continued to feel nothing. Sighing, Sarah got up, turned off her stereo, and went to bed. Her head was heavy, even if she did not feel tired. She had been through so much in the past 48 hours that she was completely out of touch with her body. She was beyond exhausted, and she was asleep seconds after her head hit the pillow.

* * *

Chapter 1

It had been a little over a year since Sarah had last seen Loki, and her life went on more or less as it had before she met him. Bob rebuilt the bookstore pretty quickly. Most of the books were salvageable, as were over half of the bookshelves. Bob's insurance covered everything else, and Sarah was able to go back to work.

* * *

It was opening day at the bookstore, about a month after the invasion attempt. Sarah's hair was still green, but she had about a month and a half's worth of roots. She had on a purple v-neck t-shirt with light blue jeans and black sandals, and instead of not eating, like the last time Loki had gone away, Sarah got herself a gym membership and started taking her frustration out on her body. She gained back a little weight, but all of it was muscle.

Steve Rogers walked in, looking every bit the super soldier that he was in his gray t-shirt and black jeans. Sarah knew she had to apologize to him. She felt hollow and empty, but Steve had done nothing wrong, and it was not really his fault. Loki knew he was going to be captured. If anything, he had merely used the Avengers to further his own agenda.

"Steve, can I talk to you for a minute?" Sarah asked as he walked through the door.

"Sure, Sarah. I was hoping to talk to you, actually," he told her, giving her a half smile.

"Bob, you mind if I take 15?" Sarah said, turning to her boss.

Bob was a portly man with a friendly, clean shaven face and a bald head. He had on black pants and a light blue, button down shirt. In addition to his bookstore, which he pretty much left to Sarah to run, and he had a restaurant, where his passion really was. "Take 30, but I want to head back to my restaurant when you get back, ok?"

"Sure, thanks," Sarah answered, glad that Bob was going to leave. She prefered running the store alone.

Sarah walked toward Steve, leaving the front desk to meet him halfway. "You mind walking?" she asked.

He shook his head and held the door open for her.

"Can I buy you lunch as way of a crummy apology?" she asked once they were clear of the store.

Steve shook his head, but he was smiling. "No need, ma'am. I figure we're even."

"Even!? How do you figure that?" Sarah asked, baffled.

"Well, I hurt you. Badly. Deeply. All you did was bruise me a little. I was fine before I went to bed," Steve answered.

"You didn't hurt me. You did what you had to do to save the planet," Sarah told him. "My heart was just collateral damage. I understand that, now." She took a deep breath. "You're a hero, and I threw you into a pole. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have, and I didn't mean to. It just sort of...happened. I didn't even know I could do it until it was done."

Steve furrowed his brow, obviously thinking about what Sarah had just said to him. This woman was in love with the god of lies. Could he actually trust her? He wanted to trust her, and his instincts said to trust her, but should he? Well, whether he should or not, he realized that he did. "Yeah, that was intense," Steve told her. "I forgave you the second you told me to be careful about how I talked about...him...around you."

Sarah smiled but shook her head. "Thank you," she told him.

They walked a few more steps in silence. "So, uh, what do you do for money, soldier boy?" The question had been nagging at Sarah since the last time she saw him.

Steve shrugged. "My apartment is covered," he said, somewhat evasively, "and I get a...I think Col. Fury called it a 'stipend,' from S.H.E.I.L.D."

"That's pretty awesome," she said, meaning it.

"One of the benefits to being frozen in ice for 70 years, I guess. Col. Fury told me that the money is all stuff that Howard Stark set aside and invested to be given to me should I ever be found. Apparently he never lost hope that they would find me," Steve told her.

Sarah stopped walking and moved over to the side of the walkway. Steve followed suit. Looking up into his eyes, Sarah said, "So friends?" holding out her hand.

Steve looked at her hand, then into her large, green eyes. "You're not going to throw me into traffic if I take your hand, are you?"

Smiling mischievously, Sarah shrugged. Then she nodded toward her still outstretched hand.

Laughing, Steve shook it. "Friends," he agreed. They started walking again, in the same direction that they had been going.

"Seriously, though, are you hungry?" Sarah asked. "Because I could go for a milk shake." Sarah's step was a little lighter. That had gone much better than she expected.

"I...actually, a burger sounds great. Go Burger truck?" Steve suggested as they passed it.

"Ah-yup," Sarah answered, smiling and turning around. She got in line.

"What kind of shake do you want?" he asked when they got to the window.

"Oh, uh, chocolate, please," she answered, getting her money out.

Steve ordered, then handed Sarah her shake while he waited for his burger. She tried to hand him the money for their lunch, but he said no.

"I wanted to buy you lunch, though," she said, pretending to pout.

"Hold on a sec," he said as he got his burger. "Can I eat this in the store?"

Sarah shrugged. "Sure, I guess. Lemme pay."

"Not now," Steve said.

Sarah growled, but let the issue go for the time being.

They walked back to the bookstore, Steve more or less leading the way. "You're good at navigating around here," Sarah told him, pretty impressed. It had taken her years to figure out the ins and outs and secret alleys and passages that Steve seemed to navigate naturally.

"Oh, uh, yeah, one of the super perks, I think. I seem to have a naturally fantastic sense of direction, now," Steve told her, obviously uncomfortable.

They got back about ten minutes after they had left, but Bob was happy to take off 20 minutes earlier than he had originally planned.

"You look great, Sarah. Much better than the last time I saw you," Steve said after finishing his burger. There were three matching tables, with 4 chairs each, and two small but comfortable couches where the hodgepodge of furniture had been before. Steve was sitting at one of the tables.

Shrugging, Sarah said, "Yeah, well, I don't wear 'boney' very well. I figured it was time to try for 'toned.'"

"So, uh, is that how you've been getting through the...uh...what happened?" Steve asked, again uncomfortable.

"Yeah," Sarah said, chuckling a little. "Yeah, mostly. Why won't you let me pay?"

"Oh, that. You mean aside from when I was born?"

"Yes. Obviously," she answered, slightly exasperated.

"Because that stipend...it's not small. My apartment is free, my power, heat, water... it's all covered. I have very little to spend my money on." Steve told her the dollar amount that was deposited in his bank account once a month.

"A month?" she repeated.

"Yes. A month."

"And that's AFTER all your bills are paid."

Steve nodded, mouth full of hamburger.

"You are welcome to buy me lunch any day of any week, then," she said, shocked.

* * *

Steve and Sarah settled into a pretty easy friendship after that day, with Steve stopping in once or twice a week with lunch (when Steve was not off saving the world as Captain America.) Both of them often wondered what would have been different if Sarah had never met Loki, but neither one of them ever said anything about it. Steve did not want to bring up Loki, and Sarah had no desire to talk about Loki to one of his adversaries. Steve never mentioned Sarah's telekinesis to anyone and she never told anyone about him being Captain America. TJ never made the connection, or he was smart enough to leave it alone if he did.

Nights, after she closed the store, Sarah worked on her mental abilities in the privacy of her apartment. She could successfully lift things much heavier than she could ever hope to lift with just her physical strength. She had managed to lift her fridge about six inches off the ground, but the next day she had one of the worst headaches of her life. It had been a Monday, which was the one day of the week that the bookstore was closed, so Sarah had been able to stay home and recover all day. She spent most of it sleeping, and felt perfectly fine the next day. From that day on, she only worked on increasing her mental strength when she could have a full day to recover if she needed it. The other six nights, she worked on precision.

Sarah had tried to make copies of herself after Loki left, but she found that she was unable to do it. She gave up after a couple of months of trying every night, and instead worked on the power she knew she had. She still occasionally tried to make a copy of herself, but she never managed the trick.

She was not exactly sure why she was working on her telekinesis, other than that she felt a little bit closer to Loki when she did. She thought about him often. She looked at the rose he had given her often. She took very little pleasure in anything that she did.

* * *

Sarah got home from work and immediately lined up six chopsticks on her table. She had cut her hair pretty short, sick of the green, and now it was just below her ears. Her hair was her natural color, and she found that she enjoyed it, but she was planning to grow it out again. It was the one year anniversary of Loki being sent back to Asgard, but Sarah was not aware. That was something she tried her best not to think about.

Using only her mind, Sarah picked up each stick, and shot them each, one at a time, into a cardboard box that she had drawn a target on. Each stick hit the center of the bullseye. She lifted the fridge five times, each time a little higher than the time before. This had become her warm up. It was time to start in earnest.

She called the sticks back to her and shot them two at a time at the target. They did not all hit the bullseye, but they were close. She was almost ready to start working on shooting them at different targets, but not tonight. She worked on shooting two sticks at a time until she hit the bullseye consistently, then started working on three at a time until Steve called.

"Hey, I've got pizza. Come get me," Steve said into the call box.

"I'll be right down," Sarah said into her handset. She drew all six sticks back to the table, where she scooped them up, then dropped them into her sink. They were the only things there. She used her mind to fling the box into her bedroom, then ran down the stairs to let Steve in.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Sarah let Steve in, and they went upstairs together. He put the pizza on her table while Sarah grabbed plates, a knife, and napkins. He had gotten mushrooms and peppers for toppings, which Sarah absolutely loved. They each grabbed some pizza and sat down on the couch together.

"So, uh, 'How the Universe Works'?" Sarah asked, smirking.

"I guess," Steve answered, doing a bad job of hiding his excitement. Sarah used to get annoyed with him for what she considered silly man-posturing, but now she just found it cute. He was a man out of time, and if he wanted to hold on to that piece of the time he had come from, why should anyone try to change that about him?

She turned on her TV and, using Netflix, put on "How the Universe Works." They ate their pizza, then Steve got himself more. When he was done, he put his plate on the coffee table and put his arm around Sarah. She leaned against him and dozed off after a few minutes.

Steve watched her sleep, wondering how much longer it would take her to give up on Loki. Steve's affection for Sarah had grown into a comfortable kind of love over the past year; a love he imagined he would have felt for a sister. Sometimes, when he was alone at night, he knew the truth of his feelings for her, and the quietly burning ember of passion in his heart for her. When he was with her, he was able to fool himself into thinking that he had not fallen in love with her. He fooled Sarah, too.

"Hey," he whispered, shaking his arm a little. "Hey, the show is over. Sarah?"

She woke with a start. "Oh! Oh, sorry, Steve. Did you enjoy it?"

The truth was that Steve enjoyed science shows a lot more than he expected to. Technology had come a very long way since he had been frozen, and Sarah seemed to have made it her personal mission to catch him up on all of it. She even made him watch a video of the first moon landing. When she was not around, Steve often felt overwhelmed by the world around him, but she was always so good at explaining how things worked without making him feel stupid.

"How did you end up working in someone else's used book store? You're one of the smartest people I've ever met," he had asked her about a month earlier.

She shrugged. "I'm happy."

Steve smiled. "See? One of the smartest."

He looked down at her now, and saw that she was falling asleep again. "Want me to carry you to bed?" he asked her.

"Hmm?" she asked, snapping awake again. "Oh, no, thank you. I'll be fine." She stood up and Steve started cleaning up the plates and napkins that they had left on the table. "No, no, leave that. I'll get it," she said. "And take the pizza this time. I still have leftovers from last week."

Steve grabbed the box and opened Sarah's door. "Want me to walk you out?" she asked.

"No thanks. I know the way. Get some sleep. You look exhausted," Steve told her.

She promised that she would, then she closed the door. Sighing, she cleaned up their plates and washed her chopsticks and the cups she and Steve had used with dinner. Then she went to bed.

* * *

That night, Sarah dreamed of Loki coming to her, and holding her in his arms. Then the dream got dark, and Steve snatched Sarah from Loki and laughed. Loki got angry, his skin turned blue and his eyes glowed red. An ice dagger formed in each of his hands. He killed Steve with one, then threw the other at Sarah. It pierced her heart, and she woke up screaming, covered in sweat.

Sarah knew the dream was a lie, but where had it come from? It did not feel like a normal dream, and her subconscious knew that her feelings for Steve would never cross the line to romantic. Still, she needed to figure out who had sent it.

Deciding to figure it out in the morning, Sarah snuggled down into her pillow and quickly fell back asleep. Her morning body workouts and her evening mind stretches were utterly exhausting, and Sarah rarely suffered from insomnia anymore.

* * *

A woman with long, brown hair, with streaks of gray, sat in her living room, smiling softly. She had been watching her daughter for months from a distance, and while she was proud that Sarah was able to embrace her powers, she wanted to keep her daugher FAR away from Odin's family. She knew Loki's true parentage, which was why she had not stepped in sooner to put a stop to the budding romance, but then he ruined everything by throwing himself at Odin's mercy and begging him to call Loki son again. "Odinson," she spat, shaking her head. Lana sent Sarah another dream, this time about just Steve.

* * *

Sarah woke up the next morning feeling dirty, like she had been violated, but she had no idea why. After her nightmare about Loki, she could not remember anything. She walked to the gym and hit her usual circuit, increasing the weight on everything by 5 lbs. After her shower, she felt much better. She was ready for her day at the bookstore. She grabbed herself a smoothie on the way in.

* * *

The first thing Sarah did when she got to the store was dig out a few books about the science of dreams, and interpreting them. Sarah knew that most of the books were going to be useless, but she did not know HOW useless until she actually started reading them.

No, Sarah decided, her dream last night was irrelevant. Maybe someone sent it, or maybe her subconscious mind had felt guilty about falling asleep on Steve. Either way, she felt like until she had another such incident, she could safely assume that her dream about Loki and Steve was meaningless. She just did not have those feelings for Steve.

Sarah's day at the bookstore was fairly uneventful. Steve did not stop in, which was good. Sarah did not really want to see him after her nightmare last night. Even while Sarah knew that Steve had nothing to do with it, she was uncomfortable with the idea of seeing him.

* * *

That night, Sarah went home and practiced throwing her chopsticks. She was still not sure why, exactly, other than that she would be able to store them in her hair after it got a little longer. It would be fun, she decided, to always have weapons on her. She set up two boxes with bullseyes drawn on them on either side of the kitchen and started to practice sending her sticks to different boxes. She started the night mostly hitting the wall, but by the end, she was hitting the boxes, at least, even if she hadn't managed to hit the targets at all.

She looked up at the rose, like she usually did before she went to bed, not expecting it to have changed. It was glowing. Not pulsing, and not steadily, but the rose was glowing green very faintly. Sarah rubbed her eyes, then looked again. It was still glowing gently. "Now what does that mean?" Sarah asked no one. She brought the rose and the vase into her bedroom and set it on her nightstand. She fell asleep by it's soft, faint glow, still wondering what it meant and why it had happened.

* * *

Loki had been trying to visit Sarah for almost a year, but something kept blocking him. He had found his way around Odin's magic weeks after being imprisoned, but there was some sort of shield around Sarah, preventing him from touching her with his mind.

For nearly a year he had been working on penetrating the shield. He could send an image to her apartment as long as she was not there, and he could do the same with the bookstore, as long as she was not there. He could toss an image of himself _anywhere_, as long as she was not there. If she was in a building, he could not enter it. If she was outside, he found himself unable to send his mind anywhere near where she was.

He was getting angry and frustrated, which caused him to tap into his frost giant powers, almost without realizing he was doing it. His skin turned blue and his face became lined. As Loki, the frost giant, he could almost sense Sarah in this form. His red eyes began to glow. Loki could not touch her, he could not send his image to her, but he could suddenly see her through the rose that he had reshaped for her. He was beside himself with joy when she brought it into her bedroom, and he felt his heart swell with love when she fell asleep staring at him.

Slowly, tentatively, Loki tried to peek into Sarah's dream. He failed, but he was starting to pick apart the puzzle of why she had been unreachable. There was someone keeping him out, and also tampering with her dreams.

Sitting back against the wall, Loki transformed back into his Asgardian form. Thor was coming, based on the sound of the approaching footsteps. Loki smiled, but blanked his face before Thor could see. Loki had been waiting for Thor to ask him for help for months.

* * *

Sarah woke up feeling violated again, but this time she remembered some of her dreams. They all involved Steve in various ways, and he was always presented as her actual true love. She was still not confused about her feelings, but she needed to understand where these dreams came from. She grabbed her gym bag and tried to work the dreams out of her head. She was mostly successful until she stepped into the shower, when one of the dreams she had came back to her forcefully.

In the dream, she had stepped into her shower at home, and Steve had followed. She turned red as the memory of what followed surfaced. The things Steve and Sarah had done in her dream were very graphic, and very dirty, and things she was only interested in doing with Loki.

For the first time since Loki had been taken, Sarah felt helpless and alone instead of numb and empty. She cried while she showered, and her heart screamed for Loki.

* * *

Lana was frustrated beyond measure. She had been slowly manipulating her daughter's dreams for almost two months, now, but something went horribly wrong last night. Trevor's forcefield had not failed, but somehow, someone they had not planned for had been able to get close enough to Sarah's dreams to interfere. Where Sarah had been willing to write off her remembered nightmare as a fluke after thinking about it for the day, Lana knew that her daughter would not so easily brush off the dreams she had been sent last night. Lana was no longer frustrated; she was angry.

"Trevor," she snapped, "what happened last night? Any idea yet?"

"Uhh, I... No. Maybe. The only possibility that I can think of is that he was able to get help from Odin, but that seems unlikely, given the fact that Loki is still imprisoned." Trevor was a tall, broad-shouldered man with long, black hair, tied back in a low ponytail.

Lana started pacing. "I agree, unfortunately." Lana was in a dark, cluttered shop with various occult items. She had on a flowing, black dress and black boots. Her lips were painted black. Trevor had on a black suit with a white, ruffled shirt. It had been easy to talk the owner of the shop into letting her run it for the last few months with a couple of well-timed dreams. Lana had wanted it because it was almost directly across the street from Bob's Book Bonanza, which made it much easier for her to keep an eye on Sarah.

Trevor was not stupid. He knew Lana was only using him to keep Loki from touching Sarah with his mind, but he did not object to being used by her. He was deeply in love with her, and any chance to earn her love was a chance he needed to take.

"I have to tell her," Lana said, abruptly.

Trevor nodded, even though he was pretty sure Lana was wrong. He would not argue with her where he daughter was concerned.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

When Lana made her mind up about anything, it was nearly impossible to change it. She also tended to rush into things, so when she told Trevor that she had to talk to Sarah, he was not surprised that she wanted to go immediately. She left him to watch the shop and walked to the bookstore.

As Trevor watched Lana leave, he realized that she might be making a bigger mistake than he had originally thought. He should have stopped her. Lana's daughter was dangerous, and Lana was going to piss her off. Sarah could pull the entire city down with her ability, if the dreams that Lana had observed were accurate...and they probably were, Lana had said. She said she could usually tell when dreams were fantasy or wishes, but Sarah's were rarely anything meaningful. Usually she dreamed about her day, her subconscious mind drawing conclusions and shorting through garbage while her conscious mind slept. Lana often complained that Sarah's dreams were drab and colorless, but she kept watching them anyway.

Sighing, Trevor glanced at the clock. He would give Lana five minutes, then he would try to diffuse the situation.

* * *

Lana considered what she wanted to tell Sarah and what she wanted to hold back. Lana could manipulate dreams, but she could not read minds. She had no idea how Sarah was going to react. Taking a deep breath, Lana opened the door to the bookstore. She would just have to wing it.

"Hi, welcome to Bob's Book Bonanza. My name is..."

"Sarah. I know your name," Lana told her. Lana clasped her hands in front of her.

Sarah put down the book she was reading and lifted her head to meet Lana's big, green eyes. "Who are you?" Sarah asked Lana.

"That's a little complicated," Lana answered. She was caught off guard by Sarah's composure confidence and direct line of questioning. Normally, when she messed around with people's dreams, they were confused and emotional. They had trouble making eye contact, and they were a little twitchy. Lana could not help but be proud of her daughter.

"Everything always is," Sarah responded. "I'm going to get myself a cup of coffee. Would you like some...?"

"Lana."

"Would you like some coffee or tea, Lana?"

Lana shook her head. Sarah went to the back room (which was no longer hidden or even blended into the wall,) poured herself a cup of coffee, and sat down at one of the tables near the register. She waved Lana to the chair across from her, and Lana sat down.

"Ok," Sarah said to Lana, "what do you want from me? Are you from S.H.E.I.L.D.?" She took a small sip of her coffee.

Blinking, Lana realized what Sarah thought was going on. Sarah had assumed that someone saw her using her abilities, or that Steve had told someone, and that S.H.E.I.L.D. had sent her as a contact. "Oh, I'm not from S.H.E.I.L.D., dear. I'm your mother," Lana blurted. She immediately cringed, wishing could somehow take the words back. She had wanted to ease Sarah into the notion that she was Sarah's mother.

It was Sarah's turn to blink in confusion. "No, my mother died. I remember her," Sarah insisted, but then she really looked at the woman sitting across from her. She had never looked very much like the woman who raised her.

"You look like the sperm donor," Sarah had been told by the woman she called "mom." She certainly did not look anything like her pale, blond mother. The woman sitting across from Sarah, however, could have easily been her in 20 years, with only a slightly different jaw and slightly higher cheek bones.

"That poor woman...HER baby died in the hospital, short after she gave birth to it, but she wanted a baby very badly. I wanted my freedom, so before we both were sent home, I gave you to her, and she adopted you. I asked her...begged her, really, to keep the truth from you." Lana laughed. "I did not want you to know about me, because I didn't want you to try to find me."

Sarah's eyes narrowed as she really absorbed the woman's words. "My life was hell until Mark shot himself. Then mom killed herself shortly after, and it got to be worse than hell in various foster homes until I ran away and started working here. Why are you telling me this now? I've been just fine without you or anyone else for years." Sarah felt a lot less calm than she seemed. Her vision had narrowed and she had to concentrate on taking slow, deliberate breaths so she would not pass out. Her inner turmoil was none of this woman's business, though, so she did her best to hide it. She managed not to yell, but she was not sure how much longer she would be able to keep her temper.

"You are making the same mistake with your life that I made with mine," she told Sarah. "I, too, fell for an Asgardian. He claimed to love me, the way your Loki claimed to love you."

"Odin and Loki are nothing alike," Sarah spat. She knew where the woman was leading her, and she had no interest traveling down that path with her. "How long have you been spying on me?"

"They are more alike than you know, child," Lana responded. "I fell instantly in love with Odin. I took him to my bed the same day I met him, and then never heard from him again. He made no attempt to see if I was ok, or if we had made a child from our night of passion. He snuck out while I was still asleep, and I never heard from him again."

"HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN SPYING ON ME?" Sarah yelled, temporarily losing her composure.

"...a couple of months..." the woman said. "I had planned to contact you and introduce myself...but I saw you...and I got nervous... I started spying on your dreams instead, and I saw Loki. I had to stop you!" Lana finished.

Sarah was disgusted. She wanted the woman in front of her to stop talking and leave, but Sarah knew that Lana would not do that until she had said her piece. "I don't want to hear any more of this," she said, hoping it would work, even as she knew it would fail. Her mother abandoned her...her father abandoned her mother long before that... Sarah had a hard enough time coming to terms with the fact that no one thought she was important enough to stick around for when she thought she had two parents...but now that she found out that she had been abandoned by four...she wanted nothing to do with any of these people.

"You need to understand, Sarah. You need to know that the man who raised Loki is not a good person, and that Loki is evil. Even if Loki does come back for you, you have to send him home empty handed."

"Get out," Sarah spat across the table. She was getting very angry, and she was worried that she would not be able to control her powers while she was angry.

"Sarah, please, you have to listen to me...," Lana pleaded.

"I think you have said enough," Sarah responded, getting up and walking toward the entrance. "It's time for you to leave me, and never set foot in here, again." Sarah stood by the door.

"Please...you have to let go of Loki. He hasn't contacted you in over a year! Forget about him, Sarah!" Lana told her, throwing caution to the wind.

Sarah's eyes narrowed. "You've been keeping him from me," she said, feeling her mind snap a little bit. She picked Lana up using her powers, but then put her down. Sarah had no interest in being noticed. She tried to calm herself down. If Lana was shaken by being lifted out of her chair, then plopped onto the floor, she showed no signs of it.

"Are you the reason Loki has been unable to reach me?" Sarah asked, bluntly.

"No," Lana answered. Sure, she had asked Trevor to build his mental wall around Sarah, but she did not have the ability to actually do it. Without Trevor, Loki would be able to reach Sarah whenever he wanted to.

"But you do know the reason," Sarah stated. Lana said nothing. "Alright. What about my dreams? Have you been interfering with them?"

"Dreams?" Lana answered, trying to feign ignorance.

Sarah was not fooled. She used her mind to fling the pens she had near the register at Lana's face, stopping them about half an inch short of piercing her skin. "Yes. Dreams. Stay out of mine, or I will kill you, do you understand me?"

Lana knocked the pens out of the air with her arm. Sarah let them fall. The two women stared at each other for a few seconds, until Trevor walked in.

"Trevor, the shop!" Lana yelled.

"Be calm, Lana. There were no customers," Trevor said. "I am the one who is keeping Loki from contacting you, and Lana is the one sending you dreams."

"Trevor!" Lana yelled again.

"Lana, I love you. I have loved you for a long time, but this girl does not need your protection. You are going to get yourself killed if you don't stop," Trevor said, looking only at Lana, who visibly deflated with every word. "Come back to the shop. We'll have some tea and talk about this."

"Remove whatever wall or shield or thing that you put around me. Now," Sarah demanded.

"I have," Trevor said, looking weary and nervous.

Sarah looked at Lana. "Stay away from my dreams, or I will kill you both."

Lana was shaking her head, but she walked over to Trevor and allowed him to put his arm around her. They left together, and Sarah watched from the door. 'Huh,' Sarah thought when they entered Witch Ways, across the street and a few doors down. She had been meaning to check the shop out since she noticed it a few months ago, but had never made the time. Now she was wondering if Trevor and Lana had done something to make her want to avoid going there.

Sarah stretched, both mentally and physically, before sitting back down with her book. She wanted very badly to think on what Lana had told her, both about Odin and herself. Should she give the woman a chance? Sarah was pretty sure she already knew the answer to that, (no) but thought about it anyway.

A little over a year ago, Sarah would not have threatened to kill two people for not leaving her alone. A little over a year ago, Lana would have been welcome into Sarah's life with open arms, but that had all been before she knew that she was special, and before she knew that she lived in a world where Loki existed. Shaking her head, Sarah settled down behind the cash register, book in hand.

* * *

A little before closing time, Sarah called Steve's apartment. There was no answer, so she left a message on his machine. He did not own a cell phone, (of course,) so she just went home. Sarah realized that Steve had somehow managed to become her best friend. She laughed a little, thinking about how their friendship had almost been cut off before it began.

* * *

Loki trudged on in front of Thor and his Jane. Thor's Earth-girl annoyed Loki, but it was nothing personal. He missed Sarah, and Jane's presence was a constant reminder of what he could not have. He kept trudging through the snow.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

By the time Lana and Trevor got back to the magic shop, Lana had realized that Sarah and Trevor were right. Sarah did NOT need her help, and forcing herself on Sarah WOULD just end up getting her killed.

"Damnit," Lana mumbled, under her breath.

Trevor turned toward her and said, "Hmm?"

"Why didn't you tell me how you felt about me?" Lana asked him softly. She looked at him as a man, instead of as someone with a power she wanted to use, and she realized that he was actually very attractive.

"Well..." Trevor answered, half shrugging, "it never felt like the right time. I was waiting for a moment or something..." he trailed off, still trying to find better words to explain.

"That was the right moment?" Lana asked, incredulous.

"Well," Trevor started again, "no, that felt like the exact wrong moment, but out it came anyway."

"Hey Trev?" Lana asked, grinning.

"Yeah?" he responded, nervously.

Still grinning, she said, "Ask me out."

"Now?" This time, Trevor was incredulous.

"If you want," Lana answered, pretending not to care.

"May I buy you dinner tonight?" he asked, quickly, before he could lose his nerve.

"Yup," she replied casually, like she was not excited, even though she was.

"That was easy," Trevor said suspiciously.

"Yeah," Lana said, teasing him. "All that time...wasted."

Trevor shrugged, but he was happy. The day had turned out to be much better than he had expected it to go.

* * *

Sarah finished her day, then went home. She no longer had even a passing desire to check out Witch Ways. After some practice with her chopsticks, she made herself a Hot Pocket and sat down to watch TV.

Hot Pocket only half eaten, Sarah fell asleep on the couch about 15 minutes into an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

She woke up a few hours later and shuffled into bed, one hand resting on her tummy, just below her belly-button. The scar that had been there was still gone, the skin smooth, and her belly was flat.

Her dream had been weird, but she was pretty sure it had been her own. Sarah and Loki had been walking together through snow, up a slight incline. She was not sure where she was going, but she had on a lavishly embroidered green dress with fur-lined black boots and thick, gray leggings. She also wore a black, hooded, fur-lined cloak. Her hands were covered with black gloves. She brushed her hand against Loki's, and he wrapped his fingers around hers.

"How are you holding up?" he asked her as he took her hand.

She tried to answer that she was fine, but her throat was dry, so all that came out was a harsh, croaking sound.

"Here," Loki said, using his other hand to give her a canteen with water in it.

She took a sip, then handed it back to him. "I'm tired," she told him.

"I know. It's not much further," he told her. He let go of her hand to put his arm around her waist, which was when she realized that she appeared to be about five or six months pregnant.

"We're going to have a baby!" Sarah gasped in her dream.

"You will have two, I think. I suspect that your belly is far too swollen for just one, but we'll find out, soon enough." Loki faded away and Sarah woke up.

* * *

Snuggling into her bed, thinking about the dream as she fell back to sleep, Sarah smiled. She had never wanted children, but the idea did not seem so bad with him. She had forgotten all about her dream by morning.

* * *

Steve called Sarah's cell phone around noon about a week later. Nothing interesting had happened since Sarah met Lana, except that she could usually hit two separate targets at the same time with her chopsticks, as long as they were close together. Once in a while, she could even manage to hit both bulls-eyes.

"Hey Sarah," he said when she answered. "I heard your message. What's up?"

"Are you back, then?" she asked him.

"Eh, not exactly. I'll be around tonight, but then I'm leaving for a few more days," he answered.

"Chinese food and a movie?" she asked.

"Yes, ma'am. That sounds nice and normal and unlikely to end with me covered in slime," Steve answered, audibly cringing on the other end of the phone. Sarah chuckled. "Usual time?" He asked her.

Sarah thought for a second. "Uhm... Better make it half an hour later," she answered. "I'm out of shampoo."

"I'll see you then," Steve said, smirking.

* * *

Sarah got home carrying two shopping bags and a gallon size bottle of cranberry juice. Sam was on duty, and she favored him with her usual sparkling smile. Sam smiled back, happy that she had been able to kick the depression she fell into when her oddly cold and violent boyfriend had left.

"Taking the elevator today?" he asked, conversationally.

"Yup. Tired," she told him. "Steve's going to be here in about an hour. Can you let him in for me?"

"Sure, Sarah. Are you two...?" Sam asked, hopeful. Sarah could do a lot worse than that man.

"No, Sam," Sarah answered, a little sadly. "You know where my heart is. It wouldn't be fair to Steve.

Sam shrugged. "True enough," he admitted.

"See ya," Sarah said as she stepped onto the elevator.

Not for the first time, Sam wondered what had happened with the investigation into Greg's death. He had never sent the security footage over, and no one had ever contacted him about it. What he did not know was that S.H.E.I.L.D. had gotten wind of the incident, and squashed the investigation. Steve had been questioned about his knowledge of Sarah about a week after they started hanging out, and he lied to S.H.E.I.L.D. to protect her. "Nothing remarkable as far as I can tell, sir," he had told Fury. "Just a bit of fun for Loki before he invaded; probably part of his pre-invasion intel gathering."

Fury nodded, and whether he caught the lie or not, he had decided that any surveillance on her would be redundant since Steve was friends with her. If she presented a danger to the world, he would do the right thing, and tell S.H.E.I.L.D. Steve Rogers always did the right thing.

* * *

For the first time since she had started trying, Sarah managed to hit two bulls-eyes at the same time with her sticks twice in a row. She had decided on day two of trying to hit two targets that she should draw them on the same box to start, and she was having a much easier time. She still had a lot of practice before she felt comfortable moving on to three or four sticks, but it always felt good when she could see evidence that her skills were improving. Maybe tomorrow she could try two boxes slightly separated.

Her phone rang. "Hey, Steve," she said, picking up.

"No, Sarah, it's Sam. I let Steve in. He's on his way up."

Sarah smiled. "Thanks Sam."

"Bye."

"Bye," Sarah said, hanging up the phone.

Sarah called all six chopsticks back to her, then flung them into the sink, making a pushing away gesture with her hands. She made a similar gesture, and her box slid into her bedroom. She could hit the bulls-eye with all six chopsticks when she used her hands to focus her power, but she did not want to have to broadcast her intentions like that.

:knock knock:

She answered the door, letting Steve in with a smile. "What'd you get?" she asked.

"Here," he said, handing her the bag.

She opened the bag and found beef lo mein, shrimp with Chinese vegetables, and chicken with broccoli. Steve grabbed plates and forks, and they both served themselves.

"I think I'm in a Star Trek mood. You mind?"

"No," he answered. "What's Star Trek?" he asked after a short pause.

"Science fiction. Let's watch 'The Menagerie,'" she said. "It's one of my favorites."

"Sure," Steve said, shrugging. Even when he did not enjoy the movie or show that Sarah picked, he always learned something about the time period when it had been made. "When was it made?"

"Oh, uhhh," Sarah said, thinking, "uhm, mid 60s I think. Right around then, anyway."

Sarah plopped down on her couch. Steve put his plate down and got two glasses of water. He put them both on her table (on coasters,) then sat next to her.

"Hey, thanks," Sarah told him when she noticed the water.

Steve shrugged and smiled.

As he had the last time they were together, Steve put his arm around Sarah, and again, Sarah eventually rested her head on his shoulder and fell asleep. When the episode ended, the next one started automatically after a few seconds, so he kept letting Sarah sleep.

About halfway through the second part of the show, something very unexpected happened. "So she gives her heart to another so easily?" a quiet voice said from Sarah's kitchen. Steve did not need to see the person speaking to know who it was, nor did he need a degree in psychology to recognize the pain of a broken heart in his voice.

"No, Loki," Steve answered, softly. "She has never wavered in her dedication to you."

"Is that so?" Loki asked, quietly, strolling around the couch to face Steve. He was dressed as an Asgardian, without his helmet or staff. "Oh, you are the soldier, are you not?" he said to Steve, once Loki saw his face.

"Yeah," Steve said, quietly.

"She is so beautiful, it makes my heart ache that I cannot wrap my arms around her. I am very jealous of you, even if what you say is true," Loki told Steve, also being careful to keep his voice soft. "The brown hair suits her best, I think."

Steve and Loki stared at each other for a few seconds, then Loki turned his attention to Sarah. "I should let her sleep," Loki said.

"Oh, no. No way. She'll murder me if she finds out I let her sleep through seeing you," Steve told him.

Loki smiled. "Has she said so?"

Steve shook his head. "No, she hasn't had to. She threw me into a pole for calling you a liar, though."

Smile widening, Loki said, "Is that so?

Steve shrugged and smirked. "Wake her up and ask her." He still had his arm around her.

"Sarah," Loki said, louder than he and Steve had been talking. "Sarah? Wake up, beautiful." He turned to Steve. "Would you shake her a little? Please?" Steve moved his arm a bit, and Loki said, "Sarah! Wake up!"

Sarah inhaled quickly and loudly, sitting up as she did. Steve let his arm drop. Her heart was racing. She knew it had something to do with her dream, but she had already forgotten what it was. Then her eyes focused, and she squealed. "Loki!" Sarah realized that she could see through him. "You're not really here," she stated. Loki shook his head, sadly.

"I'll just be on my way, then," Steve said, starting to get up.

"No," Loki and Sarah said at the same time. They both smiled at each other. Sarah looked at Loki, waiting for him to finish. "I cannot stay long, anyway, and the look on Sarah's face was all I needed to see the truth in what you said. Thank you, for keeping her safe for me."

"Here," Sarah said, getting up and handing Steve the remote. "Watch the rest of this episode. I'll be out soon." She walked into her bedroom and Loki followed. She closed the door behind him, leaving Steve alone in her living room.

"So how is it that I find you with Captain America?" Loki asked her.

Sarah shrugged. "He lives close. We're both lonely."

"He earned my respect during the invasion. I do not think I could have chosen a better guardian for you if I tried."

Sarah shook her head. "I can take care of myself, now," Sarah said. She used her mind to fling open the drawer in her nightstand and flung the two meat skewers she kept there at Loki's eyes. They went right through his eyes and stuck about an inch deep into her wall.

"Impressive!" Loki told her, genuinely taken aback by her progress during the year he had been away.

She half shrugged.

"I am currently trying to earn my freedom," he told Sarah.

"You've been in jail, then?" Sarah asked, concern clear on her face and in her voice.

"Yes, but I have been well taken care of. I will earn their trust back enough for them to stop watching me all the time, then I will come to you. I do not expect it to take much longer. They...still...underestimate me." Loki told her, frowning thoughtfully.

"Good," Sarah told him. "Let them. It gives you control of the situation"

Laughing, Loki said, "Thank you. You never fail to put things into perspective for me." He sat down next to Sarah on the bed. "I have missed you."

"I've missed you too. Will you visit tomorrow?"

"I believe so, right around the same time, but do not wait up for me. You look exhausted." He really looked at Sarah. "You look more...solid, too. It suits you well, like your brown hair."

Sarah blushed a little. "Thanks. I plan to grow it long again."

Loki looked at her, picturing her with long, brown hair. "I am sure you will be perfectly gorgeous, regardless of what you do." He paused. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Sarah told him, feeling her heart ache a little as he faded away.

Sighing, Sarah got up and opened her door. Steve was still on the couch, watching the the end of the second half of The Menagerie. "Sorry about that, Steve. I just..." She shrugged.

"You love him. I get it," Steve said, trying not to sound annoyed. "He loves you back. I honestly did not believe he was capable of love until I saw the way he looked at you."

Sarah smiled and shrugged. "So hey, I forgot to tell you. I met my mother," she told Steve after the episode ended.

"Isn't she...didn't she...uhh...move on?" Steve asked, uncomfortable talking about civilian death.

"Apparently I was given away at birth. On purpose," Sarah began. She went on to tell Steve the whole story, leaving out the details about the dreams that Lana had sent her about just him.

"I need to think about this. I'm supposed to turn in anyone I know of with special abilities, but if I do that, S.H.E.I.L.D. will inevitably coming looking for you, and you seem to want to be left alone."

Sarah nodded. "I DO want to be left alone, but you do what you need to do. I understand."

He looked at Sarah and smiled. "I need to go," he told her. "I have a little thinking to do before I go back to my mission."

"Of course," Sarah said. "Take some leftovers." Steve opened his mouth to protest, but Sarah said, "You can have them for breakfast."

Steve nodded in agreement. He snagged the shrimp with vegetables on the way out. "Steve, wait," she said as he opened the door. He turned toward her. Sarah wrapped her arms around him and squeezed. He hugged her back, then kissed the top of her head.

"I'll call you when I get back," he told her. Then he let go of her and left.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Sarah did not sleep as well as she had grown accustomed to that night, even though she was exhausted. Now that she was aware of it, Sarah could FEEL Lana watching her dreams, even while she knew the woman was not manipulating them. Wondering if dream catchers would help, Sarah got out of bed, annoyed.

Sighing, she put coffee grounds and water into her coffee maker, then turned it on. It was too early to go to the gym, so she turned on her stereo and grabbed her laptop. She poked around on her computer for a while, then paid some of her bills.

"Where's my yarn?" she asked herself. She had the urge to knit something for the first time in about two years. She went into her bedroom and dragged her storage bins out from under her bed. They were both full of yarn. There was a needle holder in the one of the bins as well.

She pulled out her dark blue bamboo/wool yarn. She had been given several skeins of it 5 or 6 years ago while she was learning to knit. She found a few skeins of red and a couple skins of white in the same wool/bamboo blend.

Smiling, Sarah decided to make a scarf for Steve. It would match his Captain America suit.

* * *

Sarah had a couple of inches knitted on Steve's scarf when she saw that it was late enough that the gym would be open when she got there. Her plan was to make the scarf mostly blue, with red and white stripes. She grabbed a reusable shopping bag, tossed in the scarf with a few balls of yarn, grabbed her gym bag, and left.

* * *

The work day went by pretty quickly for Sarah. Steve's scarf was about a foot long before her hands started to hurt. She stopped knitting between customers and started reading instead.

At the end of her day, Sarah tried to stop by Witch Ways to talk to Lana, but the store was closed. Annoyed, Sarah checked the hours. She saw that it opened an hour after Bob's did and closed an hour before. Swearing under her breath, Sarah decided that she would just have to come up with a different plan.

Sarah got home, turned on her stereo, and made herself a sandwich. She practiced with her chopsticks for about five minutes, then she looked over at her pile of knitting that was on the couch. "Ha!" she said out-loud. She went into her room and grabbed eight of her metal, double pointed needles. She practiced with those for a while and decided that she liked them much more than the chopsticks. She kept practicing until her head started to hurt, then took two tylenols and sat down on her couch with the scarf.

Loki materialized next to her about 20 minutes later, brow furrowed. "What is that noise?" he asked her.

"Music," Sarah answered, continuing to knit. She had often been accused of listening to noise, so it did not phase her.

Loki sat in silence for a few minutes, listening. He nodded, then said, "I like it. It is...honest. The singer...he...pours himself into it, I think."

"Yeah," Sarah agreed, smiling at him. "That's how I feel."

They sat and listened to the music for a while, enjoying each other's company in silence while Sarah knitted. Then she broke the silence,

"How long are you going to be around tonight?" she asked.

Shaking his head, Loki said, "I am not sure. A while, yet, though, I think."

"So how come you look so much less solid now than you did last year?" Sarah asked.

"It is very difficult for me to send my image to a realm that I do not physically occupy," he answered.

"Oh," Sarah said, continuing to knit. "That makes sense," she said, putting her knitting down. "Why aren't you physically here? You've done it at least twice now..."

"Teleporting is not easy, even within a single realm. Generally, when the distance is more than about a mile, I have to have an anchor. Do you remember when I switched places with my copy?" he asked. Sarah nodded. "At the time, you and the image where all the anchor I needed...but from Asgard, I would need a lot more power without a bridge of some sort. Am I making sense?"

"Yeah," Sarah answered. "Ok, I think I understand. Greater distance makes teleporting more difficult."

"Exactly," Loki said. "Moving between realms requires a great deal of magic and energy, or it requires a sort of cosmic shortcut." Loki looked around, and settled on the scarf that Sarah was knitting. The end was bunched up in her lap. "Do you see your pile of knitting? No, do not straighten it out. Imagine that the top edge is Earth, and the bottom edge is Asgard." Sarah nodded, but still did not understand what Loki was trying to tell her.

"Do you see how this end here," Loki pointed to an end that was not touching any other part of the scarf, "is not touching anything else? That is how most of Asgard and Earth are. They are not touching anything. But do you see how this part is touching a spot very near the end of your...what are you making?

"A scarf," she answered.

"Ahh. Not, I think, intended for me?" Loki asked.

Sarah shook her head. "Not this one, no. Continue, though. This is neat."

Loki shrugged and said, "Do you see how there is almost nothing between your two ends of the scarf here?" he said, pointing to a place where the scarf happened to be rumpled so that the two ends met.

Sarah nodded.

"Well, there are places in reality where certain spots on Earth almost touch certain spots on Asgard. When I am in those places, it is a simple, though exhausting, matter to step from one realm to the other. Right now, with my current... level of supervision... I can get to none of those places."

"So your best current plan is to earn back everyone's trust, then sneak away to one of those thin places, then you're going to...what? Exactly?" Sarah asked, surprisingly annoyed.

"It does sound stupid when you put it that way," Loki admitted, "but if the truth comes out about why I tried to take over Earth, people...my enemies...will come for you. I could not live with myself if someone hurt you because of me." He grinned, mischievously. "And I want to get caught."

"You what, now?" Sarah asked, confused.

"When I disappear, Father will send Thor after me. Thor is an utterly hopeless romantic. He will insist that you come to Asgard with us, once he realizes that we are in love."

"Do I get any say in any of this?" Sarah asked, feeling a flash of anger at Loki.

He was taken aback by her anger. "I did not think you would have a problem with this plan."

"It's a fine plan, I guess, assuming everything goes the way you think, except that I have zero say in the matter. Maybe I don't want to live on Asgard, Loki. Maybe I want to stay here, and grow old, and raise children," Sarah told him, raising her voice. She took a deep breath and calmed herself down. "If you love me, you're going to have to start sharing all of your plans with me. I will not wait around for you like this forever. You had to disappear. Fine. You had to start a war. Ok. I had to stay far away from all of it, because I'm breakable. No more. I'm done, Loki. I'm done."

"Sarah, I know that this has been difficult for you..." Loki started.

"Difficult doesn't even begin to cover it!" Sarah yelled. She was tense and angry, and her body was very rigid.

Loki held his hands up. "Forgive me. Please. I have been in the habit of caring only for myself for almost a thousand years. It is not an easy habit to break."

Knitting momentarily forgotten in her lap, Sarah crossed her arms over her chest. Sarah had made a good point. Loki rarely planned anything very well, or put much thought into the details, preferring to trust his instincts, chaos, and, most importantly, other people to be predictably stupid. It had served him quite well for most of his life, but now he had to consider how everything he did would affect Sarah.

"Ok. Sarah, if that plan does not work for you, we can come up with a different one, together."

Sarah sighed, but uncrossed her arms. "I need to think about it," she told him.

"Fair enough," he answered. They both wanted very badly to wrap their arms around each other, but they could not, so they stared into each other's eyes instead. "I should go," Loki said, a bit hurt that Sarah had gotten so angry with him.

"Yeah," Sarah agreed, hurt that Loki hadn't even considered the possibility that she might want to have a say in where she lived the rest of her life. "Wait a sec," Sarah said, suddenly remembering Lana.

"Hmm?" he said, looking at Sarah.

"I met my mom the other day. Her name is Lana, and she can apparently manipulate dreams. She confirmed your suspicion about my father," she told him.

"Is that so?" Loki asked, interest piqued.

"Yeah," Sarah answered, and she told him the story about her dreams being weird, Lana and Trevor, and her dream about him killing her. She left out the embarrassing dreams that she had been sent about Steve.

"So that is why I could not reach you. I had just figured out a way to observe you..."

"Through the rose!" Sarah interrupted.

"Yes, exactly. I...embraced my true nature, and I was able to sense you through the rose. Apparently Trevor's shield was very specific."

"Your true nature?" Sarah asked, not understanding.

"I am a frost giant," he told her, closing his eyes. As she watched, Loki's skin turned blue and his forehead became lined with three crescent shaped lines, almost like smiling scars. His cheeks were also lined. He appeared to be a little bit more solid, too. When he opened his eyes, they were glowing red. "This is what I truly look like."

"You're beautiful," Sarah told him, breathlessly marveling at the way his red eyes contrasted with his blue skin.

"Thank you," he whispered.

She reached her hand out to touch his face, but then put her hand back down when she remembered that she could not touch him.

His features shifted back to his Asgardian form. "Sorry that I cannot hold it longer. This is how I see myself, so this form is the one that comes naturally to me."

Sarah smiled. "I still don't recognize myself in the mirror sometimes with the shorter hair and the natural color. I understand, I think."

"I really should go. Holding my image over such a vast distance...it has been difficult," Loki told her, sadly.

"I understand. Thank you for the visit," Sarah told him. Then she yawned. "I should get some sleep, anyway."

"Yes," Loki agreed. "As should I."

"I love you," Sarah told him, "even though I'm still annoyed with you." She stuck her tongue out at him.

"I love you, too. I will come back tomorrow so we can talk about our plans for the future," Loki told her before fading away.

He left Sarah smiling. She did not feel angry anymore, but she still had a lot to think about. She looked down at the scarf in her lap and wondered, not for the first time, how things would have been different for her if she had never met Loki. It was not regret, just curiosity and idle speculation. She picked it up and started knitting it again.

* * *

Steve had decided to play his cards closer to his chest than he normally would have. Even after Fury had made the right choice about the Tesseract, Steve no longer trusted the Colonel the way he had before finding the weapons that S.H.I.E.L.D. had been making. Any digging that Fury did would inevitably lead him to the conclusion that Sarah was special. He would try to recruit her, but Steve knew that Sarah wanted to be left alone. He would continue to protect his friend with his silence.

* * *

Sarah fell asleep almost as soon as her head touched her pillow, and even though she could feel Lana's gaze on her dreams, she was too tired to fight. Sarah's early dreams were not very interesting to Lana, so she stopped watching after a couple of hours, which gave Sarah six hours of unmolested sleep, which was exactly what she needed.

She woke up feeling refreshed and ready for the day.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Sarah's morning was uneventful. She spent most of it working on the scarf that she was making for Steve. She was very happy with how the scarf was coming out. Sarah had forgotten how much joy she took in creating things.

About midmorning, Sarah briefly considered closing the store for 15-20 minutes to talk to Lana, but she ultimately decided against it. She was in a pretty good mood this morning, and she had no desire to go out of her way to ruin that.

Sarah had just gotten up to grab her lunch from the backroom when the door opened, and Lana walked in. 'Wonderful,' she thought to herself. 'Decide not to see someone, and they walk in.'

"Can I help you?" Sarah asked, clearly annoyed.

"I owe you an apology," Lana told Sarah.

Sarah sighed, slightly less annoyed. "Have a seat. I'm going to grab my lunch." Maybe things would go ok this time.

Lana sat at one of the tables and waited while Sarah grabbed her sandwich and water from the backroom. She marveled at the girl, who was almost a carbon copy of her.

* * *

Trevor and Lana's date had gone better than she had expected. Much better. He had invited her back to his apartment, but instead of trying to get her into his bed, Trevor had spent the night talking to Lana about his family, showing her pictures. He had a brother and sister, cousins, nieces, nephews... He helped Lana understand that she wanted her own family, but that Sarah would never be a part of it. He also helped her see that while giving up her daughter had been a mistake, it was not the end of the world.

That night, Lana had gone home and watched Sarah's dreams, carefully not interfering. Lana had watched Sarah's dreams every night since, and she realized that the only person she KNEW she would hurt by keeping Sarah from Loki was Sarah.

* * *

Sarah had her sandwich and her water with her when she reappeared. She sat across from Lana, unwrapping her sandwich, not speaking.

"I'm sorry that I tried to interfere with your life. I had no right," Lana told her, looking at her hands.

Sarah looked at the woman sitting across from her coldly, waiting for her to say more. She took another bite of her sandwich.

Lana took a deep breath, then let it out. "I'm not so great at apologies." Sarah kept staring at her. "You're not going to make this easy, are you?"

Sarah shook her head.

"OK," Lana said, taking another deep breath. "I have no right to interfere with your life. I have no right to spy on your dreams. You are a grown woman, and I gave up my chance to be a part of your life when I decided not to raise you."

"OK," Sarah said. She took a sip of her water. "Now what?" Sarah asked the woman across from her.

"Trev and I are going to leave. Maybe we'll start a family. I know 46 is a bit old for that, but he's only 35 and...I don't know. We'll figure it out. What's important, though, is that we will leave you to your life."

Sarah looked at Lana suspiciously. Just over a week ago, the woman had been hell bent on keeping Sarah from Loki. Now she was just going to let things happen naturally. Sarah was doubtful. "No more spying on my dreams," she demanded.

"Never again," Lana assured her.

A customer entered. "Don't leave. I'll be back," Sarah said, getting up to help the customer.

"Gee-Gee!" Sarah squealed! "How have you been?!" The young women was wearing a beige shirt with black jeans, and her hair was held back in a ponytail. It was also a dirty blond color, instead of the black that she had previously dyed it.

Gee-Gee smiled, and said, "It's just Gee, now, and I've been good. Great, even."

"How are your friends?" Sarah asked.

"I'm not sure," she answered, uncomfortably. "There was a guy, and there was a lot of fighting. I eventually decided that I had no interest in it, and we all just sort of grew apart." Gee shrugged. "The place looks good," she told Sarah.

"Yeah, it got kind of demolished during the invasion. Bob had really good insurance, though, so it worked out," Sarah explained.

"You're not hiring, are you?" Gee asked.

Sarah's face lit up. "Actually, we might be hiring soon. How old are you?"

"I'll be 20 at the end of the week," she answered.

"What's your availability like?" Sarah asked.

"Pretty much all day, every day. I'm going to take some college courses, but I prefer night classes," Gee responded.

"Give me your phone number, and I'll call you. OK?" Sarah pulled out her cell phone and entered Gee's number.

"When should I expect to hear from you?" Gee asked.

"Oh, I'd say no later than the day after tomorrow. I really just need to clear things with Bob."

"Awesome!" Gee said. She wandered to the back of the store.

Sarah went back to sit with Lana. "Thank you," she told the woman. "I wish you nothing but happiness, but you are not welcome in my life. Ever. Do you understand me?" Sarah asked.

Lana nodded. "Do you forgive me?" she asked Sarah.

Staring at Lana, Sarah had to really think about her answer. She wanted the woman out of her life, but Sarah had no desire to make Lana feel worse that she already did. "Yeah," Sarah lied, "we're good."

Smiling, Lana thanked Sarah, then left. She kept her promise to Sarah, and never tried to contact her again.

* * *

Sarah spent the rest of the day thinking about what Loki had said about leaving with him for Asgard. She'd miss Steve and the bookstore, but she could not realistically expect to have any kind of life with Loki on Earth...not after what he did.

Deciding that he was right, afterall, Sarah picked up the phone and called Bob. She had to put in her notice and offer to train her replacement.

Bob took the blow a little harder than she expected, until she explained that she already had the perfect girl lined up to replace her. "I'll miss you, Sarah," he told her over the phone.

"I'll miss you, too, Bob, but it's time for me to move on," Sarah told him.

Sarah called Gee and told her the good news. Gee squealed so loudly that Sarah had to hold the phone away from her ear. Sarah smiled as she hung up. Gee would be in tomorrow to get all her paperwork. Bob could easily hire a second employee if Gee was not up for the challenge of running the store herself. Sarah suspected that she would be, though. The girl had seemed to live to read, similar to how Sarah had been at her age.

* * *

When Sarah got home, she called her apartment manager. She had not had to sign a lease for over a year, since she had been a resident in good standing for over five of them. She warned the manager that she would be moving out fairly soon, but that she would not know the date until it was much closer.

He thanked her, and told her that he would be bringing people by to see the apartment as early as tomorrow.

As she hung up the phone, Sarah sighed at the ivy she had stenciled along the border at the top of her walls. She wondered if the security desk had any white paint she could use.

She took the stairs down, and Sam was on duty. "Hey, Sarah!" he said, "you need something?"

"Actually, Sam, I was wondering if you had white paint. And maybe a roller...?"

"Ya know, I think we do have something. Hold on a sec." He ducked down, rummaged a bit, then came up with a used but clean paintbrush and a can of white paint. "This is the best I've got.

"Oh! That's perfect!" Sarah walked around to the side door, where she grabbed the brush and paint. "I'll bring this back as soon as I'm done. Thanks, Sam. You've always been my favorite security guard."

"Wait, what?" he asked as she turned to leave.

"Oh! Man, I'm sorry," Sarah said, walking back to the desk. "I'm going to be moving out...soon...ish? I'm not sure when, exactly, but..." she shrugged. "I'm going with my gut."

Sam leaned forward and whispered, "Is it him?"

Sarah bit her bottom lip and nodded. "You're not...I don't know...disappointed, are you?"

Half shrugging, Sam said, "Well, I'll miss you, but you're a big girl, and he did right by you."

"Thank you," Sarah told him, a grateful tear sliding down her cheek.

"Get outta here," Sam told her. She noticed that his eyes were a little bit shiney.

* * *

Sarah skipped her usual mind exercises. She turned on her stereo, then grabbed a brownie pan, lined it with aluminum foil, and poured some paint into it. Sarah dragged over a chair, and very carefully painted over her green ivy. She used a sponge to blend. It took her about an hour, but when she was done, she did not think anyone would be able to tell that there had been anything on her wall.

She walked into her room and saw the two holes where the skewers had been. Laughing a little, she grabbed her toothpaste, filled the holes, then waited a few minutes. Then she went back in, smoothed the holes with her finger, and painted over them, again using the sponge to smooth and blend. She would not have known that the holes were there if she did not know where to look. She washed the brush and sponge, leaving them in the sink to dry a little.

Sarah looked at the clock, then furrowed her brow. She thought Loki would have appeared by now. She hoped nothing had happened to him, but she was pretty confident in his ability to take care of himself.

Opening her fridge, Sarah saw the leftover chinese food from two nights ago. She decided to warm it up and share some with Sam. She took the metal handle out of the take-out containers, then popped them into the microwave for a couple minutes. She grabbed plates and forks and napkins. When the food finished warming up, she stirred them up and put them in for another minute.

She grabbed a shopping bag and put all of the food and food-related items into the bag, then grabbed the still damp paintbrush and put it on top of the paint can. Sarah grabbed the can by its handle, then grabbed the bag with the food in it. She took the stairs down to the first floor.

"Hey, Sam," she said, smiling. "I'm all set with this stuff." She handed back the paint can and the brush. "And, uh, Steve brought Chinese over the other night, and there is no way I'm going to get through all of it before it goes bad."

Sam's face lit up. "Oh?"

"Yup. Would you like to share some?"

"You know the answer to that," Sam said, getting up to open the side door. "Come on in," he told her.

It was a cozy little booth. There was an extra chair, and plenty of room on the desk for Sarah to lay out the food, plates, and utensils. Sarah served herself, then looked over to see how little Sam had taken. "Sam, this is all I'm going to eat. Really. Take as much as you wa..."

Sam was staring out the window, frozen. Sarah realized that he had not stopped taking food so much as he had stopped moving. "Sam?" Sarah asked, concerned. She followed his gaze, and there, standing just outside of the locked door, was Loki, dressed in a light blue polo shirt with tan pants.

Sarah dropped her plate onto the desk and ran out to him. She opened the door, and in one swift motion Loki swept Sarah into his arms and spun them around once before putting her on the ground. He bent down a little and kissed her, deeply and passionately.

Sam cleared his throat and looked away, smiling like a kid in love himself. He had seen plenty of reunions in his life, but never had Sam seen two people so passionate and happy to see each other. It was impossible not to get caught up in the moment with them. He wondered briefly how he could have thought the man holding Sarah "cold."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapters 7

"Wow," Sarah said after their kiss was finished. They still had their arms around each other.

"I have missed you," Loki told her, squeezing her, but gently. Sarah rested her head on his chest.

"Sam and I were just sitting down for dinner," she told Loki. She lifted her head off of his chest. "Wait, how the hell are you here!?" she asked.

"I told you that I was going to take the first chance I had to be with you," he told her, then kissed her forehead. They reluctantly let go of each other.

"Is your friend joining us, then?" Sam asked.

Sarah shrugged and looked at Loki, but Loki was looking at Sam. "You do know who I am, right?" he asked.

"Yeah yeah, killer, conqueror, blah blah. Sarah says you're alright, so you're alright with me," he answered, waving his hand. He was lying for Sarah's sake, though. He was actually pretty terrified of Loki.

Loki looked back at Sarah. "You have loyal friends, here. Far more loyal than I imagined could exist." He looked back at Sam. "Yes, I am very hungry. Is there enough for the three of us?"

"Your girlfriend eats less food than a mouse, so I'd say yes, plenty," Sam told Loki.

"I eat just fine," she told Sam. Then she looked at Loki, who was scowling at her. "I eat plenty."

Loki and Sam looked at each other and shrugged, and Sarah could not help but smile. Bonding at her expense was still bonding.

Sam grabbed a folding chair and opened it for Loki to sit in. With the three of them in the booth, it was a little crowded. Sam rummaged around in the junk drawer and came up with an unused pair of chopsticks, which Sarah gladly took. She gave her fork to Loki, who just ate out of the containers, once Sam took a little more food.

Sarah was between the two men, and she felt very content. She saw the discomfort on Sam's face when he invited Loki to dinner with them, and she was grateful that he put it aside for her. She had been planning to invite Loki herself, but it meant more coming from Sam.

When they were done, Sarah started picking up, but Sam stopped her. "Get outta here, kid. I got this," he told her.

"You sure?" she asked.

"Yeah. Go on," he answered, nodding toward the stairs. "Go do whatever it is you kids do," he said, winking. "You can pick up your plates and forks later."

"Thanks, Sam!" Sarah said, pushing Loki out the door.

"Thank you for opening your office to me!" Loki called over his shoulder.

As soon as they were in the main part of the lobby, Loki stepped next to Sarah and put his arm around her. As they approached the stairs, he took his arm back, but then grabbed her hand. Now that he had her again, he never wanted to let her go.

They walked next to each other, holding hands, until they reached Sarah's door. She dropped Loki's hand, (which he put on her shoulder,) and unlocked her door. She opened it, and was hit full force with the smell of paint. "Ugh," she said, leading Loki in. "Sorry about the smell," she told him. "I'll open the window." Loki reached back to pull the door closed, but Sarah told him not to. "Let's let the apartment air out some. The window at the end of the hall is open. It'll be fine."

Loki followed her in, reluctantly taking his hand off of her shoulder. He sat down on her couch while she opened the window she had behind her TV. The curtains had not let any light through, so Loki had not even known that there was a window there.

"So what is that smell?" he asked when she sat down next to him.

"Oh, uh, that's paint," she answered.

"Ah, yes, the leaves are gone," Loki said, looking around.

"Yeah," she answered. She did not tell him why, though. She wanted him to bring it up, first.

Loki put his arm back around Sarah. "I knew that I would miss you," he told her, "but I cannot go through that again. I am far too selfish," he told her. "Even when it means risking your life, I cannot go so long without this," he said, squeezing her closer to him.

"Good," she told him, gently elbowing him in the side. "So you'll fight to stay here, on earth?" she asked, unable to let the opportunity pass.

Shrugging, Loki said, "If that is how it must be, yes. I do not care where we are, as long as I am with you," he answered.

"But you'd rather go back to Asgard," Sarah stated.

"Yes. Very much so. There are more people to protect you, there," he told her, then kissed the top of her head. "I am not of this realm, but you have at least a foot inside of mine already."

Sarah sighed. She had wanted to draw this out and really give Loki a hard time, but his desire to make things work for them, no matter where they settled, coupled with his inability to stop touching her for more than 30 seconds, made that feel mean. Plus, he had a point. Sarah was half Asgardian.

"I'd love to go back with you, Loki." She watched his face brighten with a smile. "But I need some time," she said, cringing as the smile fell off of his face.

"Apart?" Loki asked, hurt and confused.

Sarah frowned and said, "No! What? No! No no no! I need time HERE, but I don't want you to leave. Stay here with me. I need about two weeks," she told him.

Loki's smile returned. "You know I cannot predict when someone will come for me, right?"

Sarah raised her eyebrow at Loki. "You have ways, Loki. I know you do."

His smile turned more mischievous. "Yes, and they are all in place. They will know that I came here, to Earth, but they should not know where I am until I...we want them to."

"Is that why you didn't just teleport into my apartment?" she asked.

"Yes. That is exactly why. I did not know what you would choose, and I did not want to force a decision onto you," he told her.

Sarah looked at Loki, wondering what her future would be like in Asgard. It was a place that she very much wanted to see, but it did not sound like a very nice place. Not that Earth had been a picnic for her, of course, but at least she knew the rules in this world. Living on Asgard, she knew, would be like nothing she had ever experienced before.

She rested her head on Loki's shoulder. "What's it like in Asgard?" she asked him.

Loki looked around Sarah's apartment, trying to choose the proper words. "It is...larger than your realm. There is more space, fewer people. Magic is everywhere, like your technology." He paused to kiss her forehead. "It will be difficult for you, at first. You will be prejudged because you are with me, and you lack the physical strength that most Asgardians take for granted." He felt Sarah tense a little. In response, he started gently stroking her shoulder. "Only at first, my love. I have faith in your ability to earn their respect, and eventual admiration. You posses an inner strength that few Asgardians, even on their best day, can manage." Then he smiled. "Your magic will come much easier to you, there. I am looking forward to seeing what you can do in both realms, but mine in particular."

"You say such pretty things to me. How accepting do you think you adoptive family will be of me?" she asked. Sarah did not even admit it to herself, but she was looking forward to having a family, even one as dysfunctional as Loki's. Her disconnect from reality was such that she had forgotten that the man who raised Loki was actually her biological father.

Again, Loki put some thought into his answer. Sarah did not see, but Loki briefly looked very sad. "I know that Thor will adore you, if only because he gets to pay me back for calling him 'soft,' for loving an Earth woman." Loki shook his head. "I was not quite in my right mind at the time."

"And the rest?" Sarah asked.

Loki shook his head. "I do not know about the rest. I believe that they will grow to love you in time, but I just do not know how they will react to you." He smirked. "I cannot imagine anyone not loving you," he told her, "but I know that is because I love you so much."

Sarah lifted her head off of Loki's shoulder and turned so she was facing him. "OK," she said, smiling. She gently pushed his arm off of her shoulder, then got into his lap, facing him. She had placed her legs on either side of him, and he placed his hands on her hips. "Sitting like this is going to make further conversation very...challenging, for me," Loki told her, gently squeezing her hips.

"Talking is not what I had in mind," Sarah told him, leaning forward to kiss him. "Unless this is a problem for you," she told him, their lips less than an inch apart.

"We have much to discuss," he whispered, tilting his head forward a bit so their foreheads touched. He brought his hands up so that one was resting on the small of her back, the other just below her shoulder blades.

"I know," Sarah told him, tilting her head to kiss him. She waved her hand and door to her apartment closed, and locked. "Later," she whispered as their lips met. That was the end of Loki's half-hearted resistance. For the next several hours, neither one of them thought of anything except each other.

Alone, in its vase on Sarah's counter, the glass rose that Loki had made for her pulsed gently, in time with his heart, but the only two people in the apartment were too busy with each other to notice.

* * *

In Sarah's bedroom, the two exhausted lovers fell asleep, arms wrapped around each other. For the first time in their lives, they were completely at peace, and perfectly content. Nothing else mattered. They were together, and they knew in their deepest hearts that everything else would be ok.

* * *

To be continued...


End file.
